rebel without a cost

I cannot articulate this hurt
Into consistency and coherence
It bleeps like a fading ekg
A murmur
That whispers itself
Into its own dying wish.

But today
This murmur has grown
Into a rebellious scream
Like a teenager
Its peaks and troughs immature
And impulsive
It wants a cellphone.
It wants a tattoo.
It wants out of the house.

I can no longer handle this irate child
We can stop fighting in court for custody
Send her back to boarding school
Military if you have to
Buy me a few more years.

Tell her time reconstructs memories
Tell her time makes the truth gelatinous, malleable
Tell her time is too patient.

And she is young. Like a murmur.
Only time and bad habits
Can turn her
Into a cardiac arrest.