Now that uni's actually, finally, over, I can leave my brain in the meat fridge, or perhaps it would be wiser (questionable ability, especially with the brain already outside with the sirloin cuts and topside mince) if I have it undergo some sort of organ-specific cryogenic process, and store it in some high-tech, high-security containment device, in case someone would want to steal it (purely baseless paranoia, apparently). This operation would enable me to go around 10 pounds lighter, thus rendering my weight loss plans a partial success without so much grunting on those silly exercise machines.
And it won't even affect my grades. How cool is that?
Brain: (banging its tiny arms against the thick, bulletproof wall of the said containment device. Insert bubbly sound effect to emphasise cryogenic surroundings.) Let me out of this outrageous contraption! You need me!
Self: Hmm. (finding it considerably harder to make decisions with said vital organ in said containment device instead of own skull) Not now, doll. I've booked this little room for the next four months. Just for you, my darling organ. Enjoy your stay!!! (slightly sterner voice)
Four months. Just the thought of it makes me smile. I'm not too sure what to do with all this time but that's the whole point isn't it? Just to stop thinking too much about unpleasant guilt-inducing things like assignments and grades and the tone of the letter that your student advisor will send to your parents after he has seen your rather colourful grades.
I'm not going to think of those things.
Cheerful uncomplicated thoughts are the way to go!!! 4 months!!!
I think the cryogenic people drew too much blood out when they took out my brain. That wasn't part of the agreement but I'm feeling generous today due to all the wonderful promises the next four months will bring me so what the heck.
Feeling a bit woozy, though.
Either it is the blood thing or because I only went to bed at 7 am yesterday morning after playing 5 sets of Risk with my friends as a bold declaration of my newly-acquired academic freedom.
(I lost in all 5 sets. I kept telling my friends I'm a pacifist while outlining the Ultimate Death Strategy in my head. Obviously it didn't work.)
(No wonder I lost all 5 sets. My brain is in a cryogenic container. What was I thinking? What was I thinking???)
Better go to bed now.